Kiite.

The View from My Window

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:26:00 +0000

While I have a moment

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 02:58:00 +0000

Eric is in hospital this weekend, having the surgery we knew would be necessary to fix his broken ankle. And before you stress out, he's doing well and recovering.

But first the back-story.

Two weeks ago Saturday, we went to play paintball with my coworkers and towards the end of the day Eric, in an heroic (that is to say mis-guided) run for the flag slipped and his foot dug in but his momentum carried him forward and in the opposite direction to where his foot was actually pointed. The ankle was broken.

After a long wait for the ambulance, and a longer ride to the hospital he had an x-ray and the ER doc diagnosed his ankle as severely broken, and, as she did not had an orthopaedic surgeon on call, transferred him to another, larger hospital. Thus began our two week adventure with HK Hospitals.

Eric spent one night in that second place, and had his leg set (closed reduction for those who know) and was told he'd have to wait for about 5 or 7 days to let the swelling decrease and then he'd mostly likely need surgery. They were happy to keep him in there, but despite the snazzy jammies that they offered, Eric was having none of that, and so we went home. The following week we went to a private doc to see about surgery, it would have cost us about $13,000 (CDN) if we went that route. We wanted to look into the insurance situation. The problem was that Eric's insurance had not started until after the accident. After days of back and forth, we discovered that (not surprisingly) the broken ankle was a pre-existing condition and he'd not be covered. So that meant, rather than a private hospital, we'd go back to a public one. The only problem was that the original hospital we went to was way the hell up in the New Territories (imagine, dear Toronto friends, if we were still at Yonge & Front, and Eric was in Hospital in Richmond Hill). So a change was in order.

On Tuesday we first dragged him to the Immigration building to get him his HK ID card. This, it turns out, is the magic ticket. Instead of the public hospital costing us about $400 canadian a day, it would cost $20. A big difference. After that (amazing what a wheelchair will do to make things more efficient!) he went to a local hospital and got them to take his case and they booked him in to have surgery on Friday.

(PJ & Kevin, the hospital was originally run by Irish nuns - Sisters of St. Columban - i'm sure that will make you feel somewhat better about it!)

Friday then he went in for surgery. When they were prepping him they told him they were going to do it without a general anesthetic, instead he had an epidural. Fortunately they gave him an iPod so he was not forced to listen to the procedure as well. The drugs certainly helped and he sang along to hits of the sixties while they screwed and drilled. So now he's recovering. He's doing well. There was a lot of pain of course, and a lot of drugs, so he's either sore or stoned right now. He'll be out of hospital by Monday or Tuesday.

What's next is 6 weeks of recovery, probably more surgery to remove one of the screws, and then a lot of phsyio and the like to get him back to full range of motion.

So email him or facebook him and say hi. He'll read the messages when he's at home this week.

If you pray

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 05:09:00 +0000

I know it's been too long since i blogged. I will this weekend for sure, at length. But in the meantime, do me a favour. Eric went into surgery at about 11.30am Friday (HKT) so that's 11.30pm Thursday night back home. Just wanted to request that if you pray, say one for him. If you don't, just think happy thoughts and drop him a recovery note on his facebook. If you want to email - mail at ericyung dot ca.

thanks :)

"...you said you wanted adventure..."

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 12:44:00 +0000

Oh what a weekend it has been. Yesterday Eric and I went to play paintball with my co-workers. For those of you unfamiliar with it, it's where you run around in the woods dressed in camouflage gear, with a face mask on, shooting little pellets filled with 'paint' at each other, pretending to be butch and, in our case, fit.

We had done it once before, years ago now, at our friend Yasu's stag party. It is usually great fun, and this time didn't disappoint. We met at my office early in the morning and took a bus to the New Territories. Basically three quarters of the way to China, then deep into a 'country park'. We ran around like silly shits in the middle of the woods for a day, shooting each other and having a lot of fun. Until (you KNEW there was an 'until' coming didn't you?) about 4:15 when (in the last game yet), Eric was making a kamakaze run for the flag at the end of the course, when he kind of slid in towards the flag... his foot went one way and he didn't. The result was this:

and then this:

Followed by this:

and most recently this:

The break was quite nasty. in fact he broke both bones in his leg VERTICALLY and smashed up the ankle and dislocated his foot. After a 45 minute wait for the ambulance, a 1 hour trip to the nearest hospital, thena 40 minute transfer to the next hospital where they had an orthopedic surgeon on call, he was treated and kept over night. He has to wait a week to see how it sets, and will probably need surgery on it when all is done. We'll know next Monday. He's fine, not in a great deal of pain, (the drugs help).

When we said we were coming here, we said we wanted adventure. Well I think this qualifies.

"Testiculos habet et bene pendentes!"

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:41:00 +0000

First person to translate that and tell me the context will get a special prize, which, may or may not, include a photograph of them.

(PJ, this may be the first time you actually comment here!)

I'm sorry we're also all out of subtlety

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 00:02:00 +0000

I'm sorry, we're all out of irony...

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:11:00 +0000

some things are universal

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 05:32:00 +0000

it's nice to know that the crappy service that you get from cable companies is not unique to Canada. I've been sitting home here for 5 hours today waiting for them to arrive. This was after Eric called them to come repair it, and while on the phone telling them that it wasn't working they tried to upsell to add channels. Yah, because then I'd be able to NOT get more TV stations than ever before!!

sheesh.

Update

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 08:12:00 +0000

Sorry, I'm a bastard for not blogging in a long while. I'll try to get caught up here.

First things first. I will put some pics up in the next few days. I've got some good ones I think, and once fidn the little widget to upload pics, I'll be golden.

The big news is that we found a place to move into, and moved. I would love to say that it was a painless situation. I'd also like to say that 6 feet tall and a porn star, however that's not true either. Eric and I went to see about 50 apartments before settling on this one. We saw large and small, new and old, ugly and nice, spectacular and shitty, expensive and cheap. In a way it was a lesson in economics. Specifically, that inside a market things will have a relation to each other that makes sense; while there may be outliers, the fact is that if your friend knows someone who found a perfect place, and is only paying half what you are for, there's a reason. I don't know what it is, but there is one, and we can find it. There's a tap-dancing school upstairs and an experimental cockroach breeding facility in the basement... something.

So yes, Hong Kong is one of the most expensive cities in the world when it comes to real estate. I am sure it's in the same league as NYC and Tokyo. What that means is that we're paying $3.80/sq foot in HK; in Toronto, our condo is netting us $1.70. So easily twice as much.

The other thing we've learned about HK apartments is the weird way they factor stuff. I guess it's fair enough, becauase everyone knows the rules, but to me it's just plain weird. so in determining your square footage, you measure from the OUTSIDE of the wall. So it's GROSS. WHich if you have thick walls kinda sucks, you're losing some serious space there. But it does not stop there. Then you take all of the common areas on your floor, and divide that by the number of flats on your floor and that's your portion of the area. The result being that your '500 sq ft' flat could really be 400 or 300 in terms of ACTUAL space you'll be living in. I didn't understand what they meant by 'older buildings have better efficiency'. Now I do. An older building (blessedly like the one we got) has 8 units on a floor, with narrow halls, and very little public space. A newer one is much more like you get in Toronto, or it has only two units on a floor (tiny footprints). The result is that you're paying for half of the hallway, instead of an eighth of it. The easiest way to figure it is this. Take the entire footprint of the building (let's say that it covers 2000 sq/ft. Then there are 2 units per floor. So you've got 2 1000' units. The reality is that it's way more like 600 sq ft usable (an efficiency of 60%)!!

It's completely daft. In any case, that's the system here. We've got a 660 sq ft with about 80% efficiency, meaning we're living in 530 sq ft. But it's lovely, and recently renovated and has a beeee-uuuuuu-ti-ful view (pics to follow.)

Sorry about the digression into the economics of Hong Kong real estate. The short version for those who didnt' read all that is this: Hong Kong Expensive.

After searching through some truly appalling places for a place to live (horrible at the best of times - and truly a shitty prospect when you don't speak the language, know the city or have half a clue what to expect) we finally settled on this lovely place in Tin Hau.

That's near Causeway Bay for those of you who know a bit about HK and HERE, for those who just want a quick map link.

I suppose I could go into a long and detailed story of how we ended up with a wack-job landlady (which we did) but in the grand scheme of landlords we've had, she never touched herself in front of us, and that's more then can be said about the guy in Mississauga when we lived there (but that's another story entirely)!!

So we moved in on Saturday. We've got a mattress, more furniture is being delivered this week and next. And at some point I've got to buy and iron and a kettle.

We're feeling pretty good right now about things. I can't speak for Eric, but I haven't had any moments of severe home-sickness. There's been a few moments of course, but all in all I think I'm holding up well. We have not made many new friends yet, but we're trying. I met a guy in the swimming pool near my house the other evening and he asked "So do you drink beer on the weekend?" to which I replied "Dude, that's about all I do on the weekend!" so we're going to meet up sometime for a pint.

Now that we've moved in, and don't have to spend every evening looking for an apartment, I think things will settle down. I plan to join badminton soon, once I figure out where they are. That's about all to say for now.

More anon.

Typhoon Nuri

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:59:00 +0000

More names

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:52:00 +0000

I will be teaching the following people next week:

Mars
Jovy
Elvis
Jone
York

E. works with Godwin, Shek and Titan.

Names in Hong Kong (edit!)

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 06:08:00 +0000

I am not sure if it is true, but I have heard that in many cases Hong Kongers will choose their own 'English' name. This results in some hilarity. I think the problem stems from the fact that they're perhaps letting kids choose their own name when they're too young. Evidenced by the plethora of "Kittys" and "Apples" you see.

Many are old-fashioned "Herbert" "Fanny", some are nearly an actual English name "Jerson" or "Kennis". But others are simply too weird to even contemplate. They are usually just nouns. I have come accross, so far in HK.

Kinky
Micro (yes, an Asian man with the name Micro.....)

Eric just reminded of one he saw this week..... Commerce!

But the winner is....

Pizza.

yes

his name is Pizza.

If people don't start commenting soon...

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 05:58:00 +0000

You know, considering the vast majority of my blog comments are from Steve, I could save us both some work and just send him a friggin' email directly.

Comment already (especially you Hame!!)

Things I hate about Hong Kong

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:28:00 +0000

Yah so while on the whole, I like Hong Kong so far, there are certain things that are SO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!

Shopping in stores. Hong Kong is known for it's amazing shopping. Things are abundant and cheap, and there are more styles and kinds than you will probably find anywhere on the damn planet.But there is a drawback. The staff. They are legion, and they are annoying. If it's a hip, cool, young place, it's a bit better, but if you're in a department store, you can get assured of at least 10 times as many staff as in a North American store. And they won't leave you alone. Today I was looking at swim goggles and trunks (there's a pool near the potential new apartment), and a woman stood at my shoulder the entire time I was looking at the items. Her demeanor was (probably) meant to be helpful, but instead was more like that of someone who is watching a four-year-juggle a family heirloom. Really, it's a friggin' Speedo, leave me alone. It would not be bad if i was looking at something complex, and they had the English skills to help me understand it, but it's not and they don't!

English. Look, let me disabuse you of one glaring lie we've all been told about Hong Kong. Everybody does not speak English. Many. many people do speak some English. But not anything like enough to make life that easy for you. I mean you can walk into 7-11 and get served and even buy smokes, or re-charge your SIM card etc. But nothing more complex than pointing at the cell phone and saying "recharge". And due to the interesting concept of 'face', most won't even admit they've no fucking idea what you said. Saturday a cabbie drove me 10km out of my way because he didn't have a clue where i wanted to go, but he certainly acted like he did. Listen, before I get accused of being a typical obnoxious whitey coming out to the colonies and then getting pissy when the locals don't parley the lingo, I just want to say that my problem is not that they don't speak English, it's when they pretend they do and then drive you to Pok Fu Lam instead of where you were bloody well going!!!

Cream. I have managed to find half-decent coffee, but alas, in most stores when you ask for cream they give you something that started out as cream and then was thickened with whale blubber or lamp oil or god knows what! Jesus, just leave it alone already!

Locals complaining (and warning me) about the heat. The only people who I have heard complain about the heat were born in Hong Kong. Every westerner I have met doesn't mind it. Or at least realizes that they'd look a complete tit if they moved to a country that's about 5 minutes away from the equator and then complained about the heat.

...oh and another thing

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 06:17:00 +0000

Today is the first absolutley gorgeous day we've had since we arrived. the sun is out, there is no rain, there are big fluffy white clouds over Kowloon and nothing at all over Hong Kong Island. The air is hot and clear and not at all smoggy or dense. It is stunning.

I wish I had brought my camera today, I would take a pic and show you my view. I'm going to leave work early and go apartment hunting soon. This would be a nice day to get a flat with a view.

To Sir With Love

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 06:02:00 +0000

I had my first class yesterday (it's rare actually that I am ever to be found in the same sentence as the word "class", however this is one of those occaisions). It went well I think. It was a very basic class, some of the students don't speak any English, or the last time they did was a year ago with their last teacher. Their homework was to do English karaoke at least once before next class and to use their new greetings for at least ten minutes in the next week.

Oh and in case you're worried, I won't be poisoning young minds, they're all older than I am. :)

Week Two

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 08:18:00 +0000

I know I have been a bit slack in writing, I'll try to upload some photos soon, the cable for hooking up the cam is missing in the luggage someplace, so you'll have to just wait. There's not been a whole lot to photograph really, the weather's been typical HK typhoon season shite. In fact we saw sun only twice in the 12 days we've been here. Mostly it has been really warm and incredibly humid. Today's nice tho, just hot and muggy and overcast, as opposed to actually plus-100 per cent humidity, which means the rain is not so much falling as merely suspended in the air.

Our time has been taken up with apartment hunting. Maybe had we stayed in a place as nice as the one we had when we were in 2 months ago, we would be taking our time and enjoying it. But as it happens the place we have now is one third the price, and you can see and smell every penny you're saving. It's fine, really. We are not living in squalor, but as I mentioned in a previous post, to come from my condo to the Royal York, to, well, this, is kinda crappy. So we're spending every waking moment looking for a place to live. Which is fine, the moment we do get one we can send for the pup and have our happy (indeed 'gay') little family reunited once again.

We have seen some amazing uses of space and some spaces that are simply amazing (both in a good way and a bad). The range is incredible. A 500 square foot apartment with basic amenties, and no stove, might cost $2000 Canadian, and yet a co-worker of mine lives on an outlying island, a forty minute ferry ride away, for $130 CDN. So it's kind of screwy. Alas we don't want to live that far away so we're going to suck it up and pay for something a bit nicer and a lot closer. The upside will be the lifestyle we want, the downside will be we'll pay 3000 a month for it.

But once you get past the sticker shock of apartments here, you realise that everything else is so much cheaper. We went out for lunch here at work on Friday. The entire staff of ten had a lovely lunch in a very nice dim sum place and the bill was $1250 HKD that's about $150 Canadian. For TEN people. So it is crazy cheap over here.

So far I am finding it nice and fairly easy to get around. But you know that old thing about 'everyone speaks english'. That's such complete rubbish. Honestly if it weren't for Eric I would be lost. I know why so many expats congregate in their enclaves, because otherwise they'd get nowhere. That said, I would like to learn Cantonese as soon as I can. Once we're settled in the new place I'll register for some classes.

It's Tuesday now, and tonight is my first class that I'll be teaching! By the time you read this I'll have done it actually (unless you're up very early Tuesday morning). I'll blog more anon to let you knwo how it went.

Snow Day (Hong Kong style)

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 03:13:00 +0000

Severe Tropical Storm Kammuri is hitting HK today. When we woke up it was upgraded to category 8. That means that we don't go to work today. It also means no going out really because there's fuck-all open. So we went to 7-11 and Wellcome (the local grocery store) and bought beer (¢35 per can) pringles, a birthday cake (our friend Nat is visiting from Toronto and it's her birthday) and some other sundries and we're going to wait it out.

And if the storm breaks tonight, we'll go to volume where it's all you can drink FREE VODKA!!!!

I love this city.

new digits

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 00:12:00 +0000

Hey all, in case you need to get a hold of me here's what you need to know. Country code for HK is 852 and my number is:

nine two five eight - eight nine three six.

call if you like, but remember the 12 hours time difference (i.e. middle of the night calls will be repaid in kind when you least expect it)

Mark

Hong Kong

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 01:12:00 +0000

The jet lag is almost under control at this point. It now just occurs as waking up at 6am (not a time i'm normally up and about). It's sunday now and we've already gotten up, had breakfast, gone grocery shopping and Eric's back for a nap while I sit in Pacific Coffee and have a good, but expensive cup of 'joe'. Later today we're off to meet Joseph again (he's the Cathay steward that upgraded us to biz class on our flight over here - he's flying out tomorrow to Toronto and we won't see him for a month or so as his schedule and vacation has him not booked to fly back in to HK until Sept.) I think the agenda today will see us shopping a bit in Mong Kok before an early supper then back to the hotel to do ironing for work tomorrow.

Yah that's the thing - I start work tomorrow morning (eeek!)This is not a vacation (in my head that last line is delivered like a klaxon warning in a nuclear meltdown movie 'this is NOT a drill, repeat this is NOT a drill'). I'm a bit scared about that. I think you're always scared when you start a new job. So multiply that by one Pacific Ocean, and a foreign language, and you've got a good approximation of what I feel like.

Then again, when I think about it, I just have to look around to see all the other expats here and I figure if they can do it, so can I. Either way, it beats showing up here with no job and thinking that tomorrow was the start of my job hunt. Because there are few things in the world I hate more than looking for a job. In fact, I have had two root canals in my life, and I would rather have an un-anesthetized root canal while an angry teen-ager kicks me in the balls, than job hunt.

Hong Kong is lovely though. Hot and sweaty and so bloody crowded. I think that unless you've been to maybe Tokyo, or perhaps maybe Manhattan then you don't get 'crowded' like they have in HK. If you've ever been to a concert or a game at the SkyDome (I refuse to call it the Rogers Centre, Ted Rogers can kiss my ass before I do that), anyway if you have ben to a concert or game, when it lets out, and 40,000 people are all coming out at once, and the walkways and exits are jammed with a throng of people, well THAT is what your average street in Causeway Bay, HK looks like at 11pm on a tuesday evening. It is really messed up, if you are claustraphobic, don't come here.

Oh and before you go beleiving the 'everyone in HK speaks English' bullshit, let me disabuse you of that notion. They don't. I would say the following is true:

1. Everyone in HK has heard of English
2. Most have tried to learn some.
3. A number of them succeeded in getting highschool qualifications in English
4. Some use it as a day to day language.
5. All have an accent that is more or les understandable, based on ambiant noise, and how much they feel like making an effort.

That said, I won't complain until I can speak enough Cantonese to bitch about it.

As I am still working at an internet cafe, I won't be posting pics until I get accfess to other internet.

MADE IT!!!!

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 01:05:00 +0000

Well after 8 weeks of crazy preparation, renting the condo, selling the car, the furniture, moving everything out, sorting, boxing, labelling, storing everything we own, boarding the dog, cleaning, goodbying, we left. We spent the last two days with my Dad (I love him so much and miss him and Mam already), the last night at the Royal York (Yay thanks Nat!!!) in a bed that is the size of our flat in HK, then the flight in busines class (oh holy F**K that was nice Yay Joseph!!). So 8 weeks non-stop, 31 hours awake, and then crashing for 12 hours we're here at Pacific Coffee. We've had a breakfast of congee, and now we're doing our emails.

I'll blog at greater length later, but for now, know we made it, alive, and relatively well.

Love you all, and miss you too!!!

M&E

Cute by Design

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:49:00 +0000

This dog is ridiculously cute. Here he is after waking up (yes he sleeps on his back) and he's rubbing his eyes (as you do in the morning).

And a suitcase seems like a pleasant place for a nap.

That's what you get

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:43:00 +0000

The last few weeks (and they are the 'last' few weeks) have been madness. We've rented the condo, sold the car, sold most of our furniture, arranged a place to live in Hong Kong temporarily, arranged people to come get what they've bought, tried to finish up our work, coordinate what needs to be done in the meantime, opened bank accounts, seen everyone we can possibly see, planned two going away parties and the list just goes on. Now here we are 1 week from flying. I'm writing this on Wednesday night. One week tonight (or 'this day week' as the Irish phrase it) we'll be having a pint in our hotel room at the Royal York (thanks Natalie!!) relaxing the night before we go.

The number of things we've had to do does not even begin to compare with the number of emotions we have had to deal with too. "Overwhelm" does not even begin to cover it. right now what we're both feeling is the packing part. Moving is shit normally, when you're moving from one thing to another, in most cases you're moving up, to a bigger place, or maybe you gain in square footage and lose a bedroom or two (as was the case when we moved into this condo), but this time we're trying to fit our lives into four suitcases. I have the sensation of trying to jam way too much into way too small a place. I think this is what making sausage feels like. So there are piles of stuff, that one goes to his mom's storage locker, that one goes to my parents' basement, the other one goes to Goodwill. This all seems like 'stuff' to deal with, and it is. But you know what it is like to move anywhere, when you have to inventory your LIFE, there's an emotional aspect to it that puts an edge to things.

Eric finished up at work today. He'll take the next week off to pack and get things done. He's a bit emotional, mostly at the number of things he has yet to do, but also over the fact that the knobs he works with didn't even sign a fucking card (never mind a cake in the boardroom at lunch or a pint after work) to say goodbye. His firm is a bit like that, but still, you'd think after 4 years or something in the place they could have worked up a good-bye fruit flan bought by the receptionist from the local Dominion.

He came into the bedroom a few minutes and asked me "What are we doing?!" We both feel that. Not regret, but there's a moment when you've started to do a thing, but before you've gotten to the good part, where you wonder what the fuck you were thinking. I remember feeling that when I bungee jumped a couple of years ago, after I had climbed the tower, but before I had jumped.

I lay on the bed with him then and we kinda smooched a bit, giggling and cuddling at "this is what adventure looks like!" and how daft that sounded. At that point the dog hopped up on the bed to see what was going on. Lucky has a strict rule. When Eric and I are kissing or hugging, he has to get involved. So he jumped on the bed and then proceeded to lick Eric for ages (I get a perfunctory slurp and then he's back to trying to remove Eric's eyeballs with his tongue - you'd be surprised at the strength of a dog's tongue). The plan with Lucky is to leave him with our buddy Lorne, and then send for him in a month or so. You can guess how pre-lonely that makes us feel.

There's been a lot of pre-lonely lately. That's when you are with someone, but you already miss them because you know you won't see them for a long time. My lunch today with IcyJoe was just like that. My dinner with my folks on Sunday was the same. We stood in the kitchen and Dad said "I'm just so used to you being down the road from me."

I'm going, and I am glad I'm going. And I'm not going to change my mind, because I know this is the right thing to do (not to mention that I have no place to live as of next week, unless you count the apartment we rented in HK). But this is the part where I feel sad about what I am leaving behind. I knew there would be aspects of this journey that would be tough, this is one. Unless you all come with us? Really, that could work. Seriously, you should all just move to Hong Kong so that I can have all the people with me that I love.

when life seem serious

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:15:00 +0000

How Crazy People Try (but fail) To Buy A Condo

mail@markcosgrove.com (Mark) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 15:06:00 +0000

So the condo is both for sale and for rent at the moment. We only have 3 weeks to go before we leave and as such we've got to be open to whatever options we have. Yesterday we were informed that we had an offer to rent. The thing about a rental is that unless the guy wants to bargain you down on the price, there are no sign-backs and negotiation. It's a done-deal. We knew then that the condo would be handled by midnight.

But just to be assholes (and to see how serious they were) we sent a message to the crazy real estate agent from before (see the blog post below). The message was simply that we were getting an offer, and we'd accept it, so if your buyers are serious bring in a clean offer before our deadline or else we're done.

And so the saga continued. It's hard to describe exactly how much of a crazy, whiney, annoying shit this agent was. But you don't have love the guy, just his money. By way of background it is important to know a few things about this wack-job. He has never, ever been on time. He has never, ever respected a deadline (which are crucial to negotiations) and he has never, ever been honest.

So inside of that little context we sent our message. Of course he asked to meet our agent at 5pm. He was late, and didn't have an offer ready. Well, at least we knew he was operating consistently. He promised an offer, soon, any minute now. And an hour later it came. It was not 'clean' i.e. devoid of conditions, and it was not the amount we wanted. However, it was close, and the only condition was that he see a particular document that details the financial health of the condo corp. So we said fair enough, we'd go for it, but he had fucked up something that needed to be re-signed and the cheque for the deposit was not certified, and was drawn on a out of province bank. So we sent it back asking that to be fixed, and accepting conditional upon a certified cheque.

They came back late (i.e. AFTER the deadline) and now wanted it conditional upon financing, and wanted the buyer's trashy girlfriend to see it one more time. I won't give you the details of the conversations, but it got so far as our agent was yelling at the agent telling him he was a crook and storming out!

so at 8.45pm he finallly finished making out that offer, and handed it to us, initially asking us if we could have it back by 9pm. What an absolute dimwit and an asshole. We told him we'd let him know by midnight. At that point I think what i said was "Anthony, it's 8.45! we have not had our fucking dinner yet, so no, you can't have it back in 15 minutes, we need to think about it, go away and we'll call you!"

In the end we felt that they had inserted just enough conditions to allow them to back out later, when we'd lost our renter and were now minutes from going to HK, and (they hoped) desperate enough to take whatever shit they offered.

And, rather than play that silly shit, we just sent it back at 10pm and said that either they give us the proper offer with no conditions, or they could fuck off. Midnight came and went with no reply, so we faxed over our rental acceptance, and that was that.

- or was it? -

12.40, the agent emails our agent:

"Thank you,I will be taking my client to get a financial approval tomorrow. Once I have it, I'll give you a clean fresh offer without any conditions so we can wrap it up faster.

Except that our unit was no longer on the FUCKING MARKET because he had (as usual) let the goddam deadline sail right by.

This is by far the most bizarre experience ever. It's not merely a case of a bad agent, or a crooked agent, or a stupid agent. It's all those combined with unethical nasty buyers. Completely weird.

Well now it is over. Instead we have a nice guy renting our place for a year or more.

Now, anyone want our car?