Kiite.: March 2006

2006-03-30

Quote of the Day

... paving the way by a scandalous youth for an infamous old age...

- Montesquieu

From the Wires

Satan Knighted

London (AP) In a private ceremony at Windsor Caslte today, the Queen knighted Satan. Beelzebub, best known for a thousand thousand years of tempting humans, was named "Knight of the British Empire" (KBE) by Queen Elizabeth II.

The official release noted his "unceasing efforts in the field of corruption and temptation, which have resulted in incalculable souls turned to evil..." The honour is seen by some as controversial, citing the Queen's role as head of the Church of England. However, Buckingham Palace sidestepped the thorny question of Lucifer's past. "The Queen does not bestow honours based on any political or religious criteria. Those honoured are britons who have risen to the top of their fields and have contributed to making Britain what it is today. Sir Belial, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Apollyon, the Archfiend (as he will be henceforth styled) truly contributed to the current state of moral affairs in Britain today."

Sir Belial appeared briefly outside Windsor to show off his new honour before disappearing in a rank cloud of sulphur.

2006-03-28

Anthems

The Canadian national anthem sucks. it's a soft pishy little song.

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

The French version of it (yes to our foreign friends, we do have two versions we are, after all Canada) is better, but not much. It would translate to:

O Canada! Land of our forefathers
Thy brow is wreathed with a glorious garland of flowers.
As in thy arm ready to wield the sword,
So also is it ready to carry the cross.
Thy history is an epic of the most brilliant exploits.

Thy valour steeped in faith
Will protect our homes and our rights
Will protect our homes and our rights.

Clearly this was on my mind last night, while I slept. You see, I dreamt that we were changing it. I was on the committee charged with picking the new one. My nominee was Fifty Mission Cap by the Tragically Hip.

Especially this section:

Bill Barilko disappeared that summer,
he was on a fishing trip.
The last goal he ever scored
won the Leafs the cup
They didn't win another until 1962,
the year he was discovered.

I have clearly got to stop drinking beer before bed.

But aside from the daft choice of song in my dream... what would you change the Canadian anthem to? Or any other anthem for that matter. I think these old fashioned militaristic songs are just stupid. Half of them hare badly written, maudlin or downright untrue (I do believe the French anthem refers to military success for example).

So give me your nominees for replacement anthems. Let's form that comittee now.

2006-03-24

Jazz

This is my favourite piece of jazz, and one of my favourite pieces of music ever.

Dave Brubeck Quartet - Take Five

2006-03-20

I'm All Thumbs

The eczema on my fingers is an outward sign of inward turmoil. My skin cracks and I bleed. To be honest I don't know how inward it is really; it has not gone away, even though I have finally had the conversation that I thought would be the solution to this problem. My skin cracks and I bleed. I am surprised that it's blood I expect to exude stress, a brown thick - liquid like chocolate sauce made from pain. There is pain - that there is a lot of.

I don’t get heroic illnesses I don’t want cancer or diabetes but at least at parties you don’t have to explain them to people…

I stand at the kitchen counter sipping a merlot with the tips of my fingers bandaged up. The woman beside me watches me reach into the chip bowl and wonders if I am contagious.

“What do you do?” She asks, hoping I don't say that I am a missionary just returned from the leper colonies of New Guinea. She waits for my answer “a writer” before chancing a chip from the opposite side of the bowl.

What I want is for someone to come out and ask me. But we are Canadian and so we don’t inquire. And so we have another conversation just like the last one. and the next one

Two hours later I lurch through the living room, on my way outside for a smoke and pass a short intense woman standing alone drinking a glass of something nearly the same colour as her hair. Which is odd considering that it’s a colour that doesn’t appear in nature as either juice or as hair. I stop at the fridge and grab beer as an unlit smoke hangs from my mouth.

“Hi.” I say.
“Hi” she says.
“Having a good time?”
“No, not really my crowd.”
“Ah.” I say. Now, how do you talk to someone who has just declared the party you're at as beneath her? Including you. I thought they were all dickheads too but did not go around saying it. That’d be rude.

“Ah so, how do you know Scott?”
“Through my work. “Work” she said. All important and ominous like she was a judge on the war crimes court in the Hague and Scott was a prosecutor. I already didn’t like her.
“Ah.” Was all I could work up by way of response. “And what kind of work is that?”
“I am a pet psychic.”

Now if she had said this with even a hint of irony I would not have wanted to smack her in the eye; but she said it with such an air of challenge that I just wanted to shit. She clearly wanted me to challenge her, to say something mocking about her chosen profession. Her metaphorical chin stuck out waiting for me to take the bait. I didn’t.

“Oh.” I said and took a swig of my beer.
“So what's wrong with your fingers?”
“Oh that? I'm on the run from the US government. I am using acid to remove my fingerprints.”

Two can play at that game.

2006-03-18

St. Patrick's Day

I am Irish. I have to, therefore, blog on St. Patrick's Day. It is only fitting I suppose. Herewith are some things that either are interesting or annoying or just well, needing to be said, about this day.

1. It is St. Paddy. Not Patty. Patty is a girl's name. No Irishman has every been called Patty. Pat perhaps, but not Patty. So the short for Patrick is Paddy. OK? good. If you care, it is because the Irish (gaelic to some) for Patrick is Padraig.
2. Drinking. Yes we do drink on this day. It is, as with most things Irish(tm) not something we came up with. In fact up until relatively recent memory the pubs were closed in Ireland on March 17. It's a national holiday and also was a day of obligation (Catholics required to go to mass).
3. Green Beer. Not ours. Never. Blame Americans for that abomination.
4. Ironically the national colour of Ireland is blue (not green) and the national symbol is a harp (not a shamrock).
5. Shamrocks do not exist. They are young clovers. The word shamrock actually means "young clover" in Irish.
6. I don't wear green on March 17. My pasty white ass and a couple of other physical attributes prove my "irish-ness" sufficiently. As does the temper I will display if one more person says "faith and begorrah".
7. Danny Boy is a fucking Scottish song. Not an Irish one. Stop fucking singing it please.
8. Best Irish movie ever made was the Quiet Man. John Wayne is a SHIT actor who makes Tom Cruise look like Lawrence Olivier. But it has a fight scene that runs for 5 kilometers and it was done back in the day when you grab a chick who looked like Maureen O'Hara by the hair and she'd marry ya for it.

Don't know what more can be said. Tonight for St. Paddy's Day, I will go eat cheese and drink wine at Steve's house and try not to spill any wine on his art. Then we're going to a vegetarian restaurant for dinner. Last time I was there I had the Gluten Roast, which, despite its name, was lovely. But there are two cans of Guinness in the fridge for when I get home and eric and I are putting together the new 42" plasma TV.

That is why we don't take holidays. Right there. 42" plasma tv.

Anyway, everyone have a great St. Paddy's, and a nice weekend.

2006-03-14

That Old House

Today we closed up the old place and left it. We've obviously been out for a week now, but we had to back a few times to clean stuff up and whatnot. The new owners get the place tomorrow so today was our last visit. I'm not normally overly sentimental, and I really try not to get all maudlin, but hey, I spent 7 years there, so it holds some memories. And tonight those memories kind of came back. Here's a short list of a few that stand out.

1. Every handy-man type job I ever did on the house required Poly-filla because every job I did on the house usually involved me losing my temper and throwing a heavy tool at a wall and leaving a huge dent.
2. Ripping the floor up in the kitchen with Alexis. It was an archeological dig through 6 layers of floor that involved three hammers, a crowbar and a case of beer.
3. Hamish lived with us. Mike lived with us. Fortunately they both moved out.
4. My father lecturing me about my above mentioned temper tantrums, and then shutting up when I pointed out that he was the genetic source of those tantrums.
5. Laying new laminate flooring with Eric, using instructions that were written entirely in German. By the end of the day, and the second case of beer, WE were speaking German.
6. Our first Christmas in the place.
7. We had a lot of sex there. Frequently, even with each other.
8. Sunday night TV-Nights. A completely fun tradition that lasted about 4 years where, in protest of nothing to do on a Sunday, we would meet at our place and watch TV.
9. Kevin and Garry, our two tallest friends, beaning themselves off the chandelier during parties.
10. The morning before our second bike rallly was to begin, our neighbors across the road were keeping us up. I don't like being kept awake (see the above noted temper). I pulled on my shorts and walked across the road to the two front porches of muslims (men on one women on the other). Inarticulate with rage, bright pink hair standing on end, I pointed at my bedroom window. Then pointed at them. I stared, unable to speak. Until finally I managed "Get the fuck inside." They did.

I'll miss that house

2006-03-12

Audio Blog # 1

okay fuckit so i can add audio blogs but NOT a fucking link. so click this instead please!!

2006-03-10

Two Days Without Internet ...

Two days without Internet connection is like two days without sex. And that is another problem entirely. However, here I am in my new place. Here's the view as well. i'm sitting on a new couch thing I bought and I'm doing a quick bit of freelance work before I dive back into more unpacking. The new furniture is here, the phone/internet guy just left (furniture boy v. hot, internet guy, not so much). I'll blog more later but for now enjoy the rainy foggy view from my new castle in the sky.

2006-03-06

House Crap

This week will be entirely taken up with moving and all that goes with it. There's almost nothing intersting about that. Although this week I spent two hours (I counted) on the phone with my ISP trying to get my account transfered to the new address. At one point I lost it and told the woman that if I stopped paying my damn bill they'd find someone who could turn off my service in a friggin' hurry. Despite, that I managed (I hope) to get it sorted. But of course I hold out no hope whatsoever that they will show up or do it right when the time comes.

I'm painting this week. And moving crap in. It's boring - BUT - the result is worth it. By the end of this week we'll be in the fabulous new place. Pictures to follow. :)

2006-03-05

Happy as Fuck

Oh. So JR & Shigeki seem to think I'm not full-well pleased about the turn of events as noted below. Let me clear up any misunderstanding about that. I'm fucking delighted. To borrow a word from Shigeki-san it is Fantabulous!!!

Seriously. Here are the reasons:
1. I kinda hated the job. When it was good it was very good, but when it wasn't good it was a terrible brand of hell. And most of the time it was not good.

2. I was going to get fired. That was clear and it was going to happen at a time that would not be convenient (not that it ever is, but this would suck).

3. I managed to get them to give me two months notice and some money at the end.

So to recap I AM HAPPY!!!

But that being said, I'll take all of Shigeki's prayers and incense and I'll take all of JR's fancy imported karma. As well as everyone's good wishes.

2006-03-03

Just so you know.

Here's the story, and I'll try to keep this short, because it's a story I'm bored with already. The job hasn't gone well for a while. The main reasons are that pretty much since I started in the job they've had me doing a bunch of shit that frankly wasn't much of what they hired me to do. Eight months later I'm still doing it. Well do you know what happens when you do shit that you don't want to do, and don't know much about what you're doing? You suck. That's what. And you fuck up. And I did. So fast forward to recently. I get a 'memo'. You know one of those memos that says, in essence, "shape up or ship out."

Since then, about three weeks ago I guess, I have been tieing myself up in knots about this. Because, for fuckssake as much as I may not like this job, it doesn't mean it's a good time to leave. So there had to be some other way this could go. The deadline for the memo was March 31 and that timing just sucked. I got some really good advice from some really good friends and proceeded to have a couple of conversations with my boss. Through those chats I quickly figured out that the memo was really very clearly a message to leave. So I tried another tack, again with the help of amazing advice from my friends, and from Eric (and support).

On Tuesday I went to my boss and closed the door and told her that things were not working out. That clearly as much as either of us may or may not want it, the fact was that I was not going to be what they wanted in that job. And that no matter what I wanted, the job was not going to be what I wanted. But despite all that I couldn't quit. She aknowledged all of that and didn't disagree. I had read things correctly, I guess.

So I suggested that we come to an arrangement that suited us. I have always felt that there's no reason why this can't work out, that situations like this can't just end with people feeling good about what happened. Why does it have to be that you quit or get fired and everyone feels like shit? Well it doesn't. And it didn't.

What happened was, after a bit of negotiation, I'm leaving, but with 2 months notice and some severence at the end of it. So I get time to get my shit together, start up the next phase, and move on, without being broke. And they get me to train my replacement (assuming they find and hire that person in time.)

Funny how the world can work out.

***

And as for what's nex? well the business. I'm not going to go back working for someone again. Or at least not now. Never say never, but I'll say not for a while. This time there will be differences, not the least of which, I hope, is success. I'll blog more about that later.

But now you know.

2006-03-01

Well Now

So regarding the post below. I still can't say much, at least not until the rest of the conversation, and um, negotiations are held. But I will say that the conversation was held, and it went very well. I was right. And now things are at the negotiation stage.

Kiite.